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Chuck Klosterman’s HYPERtheticals With a Five-year-old At Bathtime

September 17, 2016

I’m a Chuck Klosterman fan. He has a fascinating mind. Seems like a fun guy to just grab a beer with and chat. The episode of Marc Maron’s WTF with Chuck Klosterman is one of my favorites.

A little while back, I bought a game(?) he made called HYPERtheticals: 50 Questions For Insane ConversationsIt’s kind of a more intellectual version of Gregory Stock’s The Book of QuestionsKlosterman provides really elaborate hypotheticals that set up provocative dilemmas.


Tonight I was reading them to my five-year-old when she was taking a bath. Some contain adult material, so I skipped those. But I wanted to see what she’d say and why she answered the way she did. Here are the ones she answered:


Her answer:

Screen Shot 2016-09-17 at 9.48.07 PM.png

I thought that was pretty insightful. She maybe outsmarted the question.


She wanted to lose her sense of smell.

Screen Shot 2016-09-17 at 9.47.20 PM.pngShe also said she’d replace smell with her touch. So she could feel smell in the air as a physical sensation in her fingers.


She said the first one, which I was happy to hear. Screw the Hollywood-ized biopic. Why?

Screen Shot 2016-09-17 at 9.47.33 PM.png

I guess we all have a little of that dream in us.


I had to explain to her that Einstein was a scientist who was like the most brilliant person ever. She said:

Screen Shot 2016-09-17 at 9.47.41 PM.png

To be fair, we were at a science-themed birthday party today, where a “Mad Scientist” came and performed some experiments that were borderline magic tricks. So the delineation between a really smart scientist and a hack magician might be a little blurry at the moment. I’m also pretty sure she thinks magic tricks are real magic. I’m not ready to burst that bubble.

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